He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
