I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
