i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
