Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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