she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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