I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
