We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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