i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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