I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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