What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
