It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
