I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
