i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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