Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sext me about skeletons
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
