its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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