I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
