I'm jealous of your bromance
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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