Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
