Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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