Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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