Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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