i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
