4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
