I'm eating all of the evidence.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
