i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
