maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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