That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
