Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
