Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
