I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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