I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
