oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
