It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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