I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
