So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
