when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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