I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
