is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
