the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
