I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
