and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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