If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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