pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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