I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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