I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
