You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
