Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
