sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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