I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
