Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
