Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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